


Just Till I Fall Asleep

by Brightershadows



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Breakup, College, F/M, High School, Illness, Laxus is Lucy's Brother, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, One-Shot, Party, Sad!Lucy, Short, Songfic, Trigger Warning: Major Character Death, Unrequainted Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 20:39:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5104961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brightershadows/pseuds/Brightershadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isn't it funny, how we can hold on to something for so long. It's so sad, it's laughable how clingy human beings can be. You hold on to a love but you just aren't loved back. </p><p>Or the one where Natsu broke up with Lucy but she's still in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Till I Fall Asleep

"I'm really sorry Lucy," he had said.   
He had said, "It just isn't working between us."  
And she had looked into his eyes and saw the love in them that was no longer for her. And as she stood there, speechless, breathless, unable to move or think or understand any of it, he turned his back and walked away.   
She stood there and watched his retreating back until it was out of sight, and then she rushed to the window and watched him as he walked out of the school, swinging his keys and smiling happily, walking to where his love was.  
She turned away from the place she last saw him and closed her eyes, breathing through her nose as she walked up the stairs, one at a time, a rhythmic tap tap tap with each step that she went up. She kept her eyes closed, doing things that she knew, she understood, as she slowly ascended the last steps.   
She opened the door to the roof and stepped slowly, one foot in front of the other, to the edge. And with eyes open, she plopped down, dangling her feet off the edge, wind sweeping gently through her hair.   
She didn't look down, she never did. She always looked up and watched the clouds turn orange from the setting sun, slowly moving away as the wind pushed them to.   
She envied the clouds, because they got to see the world. And when they were too full, they exploded, and wept. It was a simple and easy cycle, something that she wished she was able to do. Burst when she got too full.   
But she couldn't do that. Bursting would mean giving up, surrendering. It would put shame on her. That's why no one ever exploded like they wanted. Because they couldn't.  
She watched as the city skyline was turned gold as the suns last rays softly landed on them, saw them sparkling with its cherished light and thought that all those authors were right.   
Even things that are evil and awful are beautiful from a distance. 

DX

Years passed. They grew older, graduated high school, and all the while Lucy saw them together, Natsu and Lisanna, smiling and happy.   
Lucy graduated with the top grades and scores, the absolute best. When she went up at graduation for her speech as valedictorian she felt so disappointed that she didn't have Natsu pushing her forward, encouraging her, calming her nerves.   
She got excepted into so many colleges, scouted by many more. They all wanted her. Everyone wanted her except for the one person she wanted.   
She decided to go to the local university with the rest of her friends, support her family, although they were all against it.   
Her life slowly pieced itself back together. She had distractions. If she didn't go to the parties she wouldn't see him, see them. She focused on her studies and her job and her music. She reflected back on their relationship. She realised that it wasn't perfect.  
They fought and argued and Natsu was unfaithful all the time. They broke up and got back together more times than she could count. At times she loathed him, but she never stopped loving him.   
But her life wasn't perfect, and it was never meant to be. 

DX

When she reached her junior year at University she started to get sick. She got sick and didn't get better. Soon she was in the hospital and she was listening to the doctor tell her that he was very sorry, but there was nothing they could do for her, only make her comfortable.   
She didn't cry though. She felt numb. There was no reason for her to cry. She didn't have anyone to live for, really. The one person she loved was in love with someone else. That hurt more than the dying did.  
She didn't tell very many people. When she found out, the only person she contacted was her father. His heartbreaking sobs confirmed her decision not to tell anyone else. It would be easier for them to not know.   
Others found out, by default. Her older brother, Laxus, because her father whispered it to him in a crumbling voice over the phone. His fiancé, who held him as he cried, screaming for the pain his little sister had to endure.   
That was the extent of it, for a while. But some things couldn't be hidden. The way she'd throw up in the bathroom, her body weak and trembling. How some mornings, she struggled to walk to her lectures, how the exhaustion overwhelmed her while they lectured. Her roommate found her hunched over the toilet and caught on rather quickly, hugging her close as she shed tears for her friends shortened time.  
The months wore on, and she grew weaker, thinner. Some mornings she struggled to even sit up in bed. She'd spend the lying in her bed, agony wrenching her very bones.   
She watched her life begin to fade. She knew how it was disappearing from her. Every time she passed a mirror, another little bit of life was missing. She looked more and more dead than living with every passing day.   
She knew her days were numbered. She could feel it, deep down, as her ending drew near. And she grew more and more desperate to solve the one loose end that was left. To speak once more to the love she had never lost. But she never saw him. She had spent so much time avoiding him, she couldn't stop.

DX

The morning of the day she was to leave, she felt it. She woke up with more energy than she had in weeks, and somehow she just knew that it was her last day. And she felt at peace.   
It was snowing outside. The fresh, cold air and the pure white ground made her feel renewed. There was a party she was invited to. A small one, a group of their old friends from high school gathering to relax together. She decided to go to it. And she felt at peace.  
While she was wandering about, watching the beautiful, snow-covered world in awe, taking in its imperfections for the first and last time, she saw the perfection in the imperfection. She saw the beauty up close. And she felt at peace.  
She took a sip of her coffee, strummed the guitar in her lap and played it for the traveling pedestrians. Her voice was full of love as she played and sang at that street corner for the last time. And she felt at peace. 

DX

When she arrived at the house where the party was being held, she felt nervous to knock on the door. To hurt these people by showing her face on her last day. But she inhaled the cold afternoon air and raised her fist.   
She was welcomed inside. They had a warm fire going, and the air was full of joy and laughter. They all were enjoying the memories of the past. The tales of their high school, of their friendships. She was greeted by so many people, all who hugged her and cherished her and made her laugh. She danced with them and sang with them and laughed with them for hours.   
When everyone was settling down, sitting in front of the fire, on the couches and the rug, becoming drowsy from the late hour, she finally saw him. He sat next to her on the floor, offered her a smile. With all her heart, she smiled back.   
Their shoulders were brushing, and she cherished the way the fire was reflected in his eyes. He always looked best like this, she decided. When he was happy and relaxed, sitting in front of the fire.   
When he whispered, "I'm sorry," after all these years, she knew he meant it. She eyes were getting heavy, and she knew these were her last moments. She lay against him, but he didn't react badly. Instead he wrapped his arm around her, and pulled her close.   
He probably knew, like a lot of them. It made sense, really. Laxus's fiancé was Mirajane and she was Lisanna's sister after all, and Natsu was dating Lisanna. He probably knew, like she did, that she was dying. She rested her head against his warm chest, ready to go.   
"Is there anything I can do?" The soft rumbling in his chest calmed her, warming her up inside.  
"Just... Sing to me, like you used to. Only until I fall asleep." Her voice was soft.   
He took a breath and began to sing, aimless little tunes that had no meaning but sounded right, in a way. The deep rumbling of his chest lulled her into her final rest. She was in her loves arms at long last. She was content, happy. Her breathing slowed as the last of the life left her, as she eased out of life and into death, slowly and softly and perfectly. And she felt at peace.


End file.
